This post is EPIC, there was no way I could do this as a typical single strip.

↓ Transcript
LAWLS - 0022: A BOY AND HIS HAT

[ Panel 1 ]
CREEPER VOICE: It’s time...
:: Pitch black, creepy voice speaking. ::

[ Panel 2 ]
CREEPER VOICE: for you…
:: Still black. ::

[ Panel 3 ]
CREEPER VOICE: to wake up…
:: Joseph begins to open his eyes and in his blurred vision he sees some mysterious shape right in front of his face. ::

[ Panel 4 ]
:: The hat appears to be alive and welding a small knife. ::
HATTICUS: …AND DIE!

[ Panel 5 ]
JOSEPH: WHAT THE FUCK?
:: Joseph looks perturbed as Hatticus stands over him. **HIGH ANGLE** ::

[ Panel 6 ]
:: Joseph slaps Hatticus away as Hatticus cuts a small incision into Joseph’s thumb. Joseph’s arm partially covers the gutters for the next 3 panels. ::

[ Panel 7 ]
:: Hatticus skids back gaining his grounding, blood is dripping from his blade and he looks pissed. **HIGH ANGLE** ::

[ Panel 8 ]
JOSEPH: You’ve gotta be kidding me… another battle with a POINTLESS creature?
HATTICUS: I’ve been placed up enough HAIRS of FILTH boy!
HATTICUS: …And I will no longer be your HEAD SLAVE!
:: Joseph is getting up and preparing to fight Hatticus. ::
|— NARRATOR: EPIC CLIFFHANGER! [ To be continued sometime soon ] —|